


and the harmonies break

by madnessiseverything



Series: tales of narnia [32]
Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Issues, Ficlet, Gen, Post-Narnia, and the disconnect to lost and found parents, the dilemma of having grown up once before
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:09:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28810161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madnessiseverything/pseuds/madnessiseverything
Summary: “It’s not fair,” Susan cries one night, Peter’s arms wrapped around her as they sit on his bed. “How can I be so angry at them?”the one where it's hard to have parents again.
Relationships: Peter Pevensie & Susan Pevensie
Series: tales of narnia [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2039454
Comments: 7
Kudos: 77





	and the harmonies break

**Author's Note:**

> once again i have Many Thoughts about the pevensies and their return to england, specifically susan and peter. a slightly shorter version of this was posted on my tumblr a bit ago. 
> 
> (title translated from "mio dio pietà" from romeo giulietta - ama e cambia il mondo)

Cut off from their home, England seems intent to not only trap them but strip them of all they are. It feels like every bit of themselves is being scraped out of their too-small shells. Susan hates it, especially when they return to London. She remembers their mother now and missed her terribly when she realised how long they had been away. But she knows that they cannot go back to the old ways. No matter how gently their mother smiles, no matter how tight she hugs them, they cannot return to the children they once were. When their father comes home from the war because of an injury, things only get worse.

The house is a mix of too hot - bursts of anger from both sides, a clashing of tempers and ideals - and far too cold - hurt glances, turned backs, the sound of whispers not meant for the others to hear. There are invisible lines that get overstepped and cause strife, an unmistakeable split right through the previously almost idyllic Pevensie household. On one side, the English parents face too-old eyes with a mix of emotion none of them ever wished to feel towards their own kids. On the other, four siblings, much older than their fragile forms portray, yearn for a home far out of their reach.

“It’s not fair,” Susan cries one night, Peter’s arms wrapped around her as they sit on his bed. “How can I be so angry at them?” Peter’s lips are pressed into a thin line, eyes focused on the wall across from them. “They lost their chance at parenthood as much as we lost them as our parents, how can I be so-” Her words stick in her throat as the tears overwhelm her. Peter pulls her tighter, running his hand over her hair as she sobs. 

Peter doesn’t tell her it’s alright, and Susan is glad for it. It isn’t alright. They are so very far away from their home, their kingdom, their real bodies. England is war-torn, and they can’t help like they could back home. The parents of this world are hurt, confused at the strangers in their children’s bodies. They must have expected changes during their separation, but none like this. It was bound to knock them off-balance.

So how could Susan expect anything other than hurt and misplaced words, when their parents can’t see the adults they are? How could she be this angry at their birth father for telling Peter that he cannot act as a father anymore? The man came home from horrid circumstances to find his children turning to his eldest as if he never existed in the first place. Of course, he was going to be disturbed. 

But oh, Susan feels so very angry. How dare this man come back and demand their respect as head of the house without so much as proof that he is capable of leading them? How dare he look at Peter and tell him to stand down? How dare he shake his head at Susan as though she doesn’t know what she says when she speaks up about the family? How dare he dismiss their words, when he hasn’t been in these walls for four years, let alone the near twenty years it’s been for them?

Susan is angry beyond belief, and she cries until her body can’t find the energy to go on. She cries for the woman downstairs, who calls them her children and yet can no longer connect to them through no fault of her own. She cries for the soldier in the living room, who came home to a house that no longer needed him. She cries for Lucy and Edmund, torn between the parents this world demands them to follow and their siblings who raised them with tears and blood. She cries for Peter, trapped in a child’s body and stripped of his every duty. She cries for herself and for the motherhood that this world is intent on ripping away from her. 

Her heart tears at itself, grief and anger clawing inside her chest as she cries and cries.

Peter stays with her through it all.

**Author's Note:**

> i have a [narnia tumblr](https://bloodybigwardrobe.tumblr.com/) and am also on [twitter](https://twitter.com/notanycritter), feel free to drop by <3


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